


Are You Dead or Are You Sleeping?

by AHardDaysNight



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Drama, M/M, Slash, War
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-06
Updated: 2014-01-06
Packaged: 2018-01-07 18:53:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1123191
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AHardDaysNight/pseuds/AHardDaysNight
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Remus' chest hardly rose and fell as he lay in the bed. He looked dead.  </p><p>Sirius thinks Remus is the traitor. SBRL.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Are You Dead or Are You Sleeping?

_Inspired by 'Satin in a Coffin' by Modest Mouse, which is absolutely messed up and brilliant._

 

* * *

 

Remus’ chest hardly rose and fell as he lay in the bed.  Sirius glanced over at him.  Was he dead or sleeping?

He looked dead. 

Sirius turned onto his side and clenched his eyes shut willing the panic and fury in his chest to stay inside. 

There were rumours – whispers – that someone close to James and Lily was passing information to Voldemort.  Peter lacked the balls to do something so evil.  So, Sirius concluded, that left Remus. 

At first he refused to believe Remus would be capable of such a betrayal, but the more he mulled over it during sleepless nights the more it made sense.  Remus seemed distracted.  Far more than usual. 

It was the subtle actions that changed Sirius’ mind. The way Remus’ hands would shake as he lit his cigarette.  The way Remus’ pretended to read books.  He would have them open in front of him, but the pages never turned.  The way he stopped kissing Sirius.

There was no more love between them.  It was just sex.  When Remus looked at him, he saw nothing.  It was as though Sirius meant nothing to him anymore. 

Remus looked empty.  He would fake emotions, but Sirius knew the life had drained out of him.

Sirius was terrified.  He didn’t want to leave Remus.  He didn’t want to tell anyone that Remus was the traitor.  Not because he was scared for Remus’ life, but for fear of getting killed himself.  He didn’t care if Remus died.  But if Sirius was dead he wouldn’t be able to prevent disaster. 

He decided to stay. 

He decided to pretend he still loved Remus.

He decided that he would stop Remus even if it meant killing the one he used to love.  _Used to love._  

Sirius turned over to face Remus.  He looked so peaceful.  So still.  So dead. 

Was he really sleeping, or was he dead?  

“God, I sure hope you are dead,” Sirius whispered

 

* * *

 


End file.
